Teenage discipline (Pt 1)

 

 

The teenage years are known to be full of various behavioral dimensions. They tend to be experimental and impressionable. They become adventurous and at extreme cases get quite rebellious. Parents tend to complain so much about their dos and don'ts and some strange behavioural patterns. They also exhibit tendencies of wanting to spend so much time with their friends and if not with the right kind of company, they tend to get caught up in terrible peer pressure.

Teenagers are known to be young adolescents between age 13-19years. At the stage of their lives they are actually going through some hormonal developmental stages. They tend to begin to become aware of the opposite sex and therefore develop feelings for them. In summary, they grow quite fast at this stage of their lives.

Teenagers are mostly misunderstood at this stage for obvious reasons but when properly engaged in their line of interest, tend to be very productive. But sometimes, they tend to be overly rude, lie, sulk, disobey, and rebellious.

How then can bad behavioral pattern in teenagers be avoided/corrected and not appear to be too controlling?

 

1. Set certain rules and standards: when you set certain boundaries and standards for them with penalties, they tend to stay in track. Moreover, making them set the penalty for flouting these rules themselves tend to make them stay within the confines of the rules. You can set a rule that says, 'when you consecutively break your curfew time thrice, you'll be grounded for a month.'

 

2. Put it in writing: write out the rules in black and white. Sign it and let your teenager sign too, then paste on conspicuous places in the house. You can paste it on the wardrobe doors, door of the refrigerator, etc to constantly serve as a reminder to both parties.

 

3. Be firm and ensure consistency: both parents should unanimously agree on the implementation of proper discipline to be mete out on the child when rules have been flouted. When a parent take sides with the child, proper discipline will not be ensured and the teenage who is a master manipulator latches on the parent's weakness and gap. So both parents must be on the same page.

 

 

4. Living by example: can you give what you don't have? Are you a parent who believes in 'do what I say but not what I do'? If you are, then you may not be able to succeed well in instilling discipline in your teenager. Both parents must ensure they live a life worth emulating by their wards. If this is not in place, it will be most likely impossible to preach discipline and good moral behavior. So parents, uncles, aunties around these teenagers should live right especially in the presence of these teenagers because they tend to learn by example.

 

...it is the wish of every parent to raise role models and cornerstones, what other ways do you think parents can lovingly ensure discipline in their teenagers?

 

Why I Hate Girls1

It was back in secondary. I was some 10 years old, in JS1. At that point in life where the boys hadn't yet started having wet dreams, where the girls had nips but no boobs, and none used a sanitary pad.  The major differences between boys and girls were probably the clothes we wore and our posture when we sat.

 

Ada was a beautiful girl: she was petite, my age and the type every boy wanted to impress. I was a boy, so I wanted to impress her too. I started monitoring her, trying to understand her. I would stay back in class, when other boys were out playing football. Not that I hated football but because I wanted to be around her. I'd turn red in jealousy when she smiled at boys, yet I didn't have the heart to claim her for myself.

 

Well, sometime in second term I noticed that Ada started spending break periods at the library. Guess what? Hehe! One week later, I was an avid reader, spending all my break periods in the school library. She had this favourite chair, and over time I had mine too! Two chairs to her right - that was mine. I could steal a glance when she read, and look down when our eyes met. Yet she didn’t seem to notice me. It was comical - playing the fool for love. But she my first crush - these things happen.

 

On the other hand there was Chuka. Dude was a brat: he danced well, rocked parties, and played good football.  Idiot! He liked Ada too. The boy was an average blocked head pupil who came last in maths - couldn't solve any equation that had 'unknowns' in it. Mschew. Yet the ladies loved him. Like how do they that? How do those below-average kids get all the fine girls fighting over them.  When I only got the ugly girls. Ugly girls who still wished Chuka was their boyfriend.

 

 

Anyway, the little bully warned me to stay off Ada. I was tall, lanky and wore glasses. He was short, stout and athletic; brave like Hercules - he never walked away from a fight. I stood no chance in a fight with him. Absolutely none. But I didn't care! I liked Ada, and somehow I felt I'd win her. So, I hung around like a shadow - reading her mood, watching her every move, understanding 'her. Over time, she realised we shared so much common - and we just had to be friends. Stalkers Inc! Lol

 

But I had a problem. I was one of those Ibo kids who pronounced 'r' instead of 'l'; and vice-versa. Like "You can go to schoor but you can't buy crass". Mercy me!  A weakness I just couldn't correct. It made me talk real slow. And run from words that contained either alphabets.

 

Then my problem had a problem. Chuka had noticed. My enemy knew my weakness, and he stalled - looking his opportunity to use it against me. By now, Ada had become comfortable with me. But still she admired Chuka - She'd look on the floor and fiddle with her hands when their eyes met. In those days too, he'd drift into the library a few times a week - pro'ly to keep an eye on me.

 

Then came the day, a good day that went bad for me. It was break time. And I was in the library, reading as usual two chairs away from Ada; seeking every opportunity to start a conversation with her - a discussion about anything; an opportunity to prove that I deserved her. And then it happened. She talked to me! It was awesome - she had started the convo this time.

 

"Prof, come over here".

 

I smiled, Ada just called me Prof. Finally, she saw it! Well, I walked slowly to where she was seated and bent over. I was breathing down her neck and she didn't seem to mind.

 

"Prof. Yomi, I'm fascinated with aeroplanes, tell how they work".

 

I hid the excitement in my eyes with a smile, put my shaking in hands in my pocket; and stormed off. I returned with a copy of encyclopedia britannica (God Bless the British). And sat next to her. It had pictures and illustrations and with that I taught her - everything I could aeroplanes.

 

Our legs were touching, it felt strange - like currents of electricity were shooting from her. She nodded when I spoke, asked questions and looked impressed with my answers. And she loved it. Her eye lids were fluttering, and I felt glad - happy for me. We were lost in our own world.

 

Things couldn't have gone any better that day, but they sure went worse. I didn't know when he entered the library. Who's he? The devil - he stood across our table, hands on his waist. I don't know for how long.

 

All I knew, was that Ada lost interest in me, in my words, in the pictures - and she stared ahead of her. In that split second, she shifted her legs away from mine. And put up a guilty barbie countenance. I looked up and saw Chuka. His eyes were cold - they had this piercing look. For the first time since I met Ada, I came to reality. This brat could kill me, like beat me in fight with one hand tied behind him. My hands shook, my voice stammered, and I almost peed my pants.

 

He drew close to me: too close.

 

I winced and stuttered "Chuka, what is it now?" Fear took hold of me.

 

He ignored me.

 

 "Ada, I'm so disappointed in you".

 

She looked blank, awkward, silent, lost for words.

 

And then he posed a challenge to me

 

"Pronounce aeroplane, you idiot - they call you prof yet can't talk right"

 

I was afraid, yet annoyed. I couldn't let a dumb Chuka take the only thing I had going for me. My reputation as a geek was at stake.

 

Then Ada looked at me: "are you just gonna sit there? Say something"

 

Hadn't she noticed. Really? Didn't she know I pronounced 'l' and 'r' wrongly? Was this some sort of grand conspiracy to discredit me - to destroy my reputation? These thots ran through my head - Until his loud voice forced me back to reality.

 

The little bully was shouting now "Pronounce aeroplane you dullard!" The whole population of students in the library were looking at us now. We had their complete attention. It was like sitting on a stage. And back then I had stage fright.

 

Anxiety seized me! I choked on my words - tried talking but all I heard was a dried cracky mutter. My guts told me to ignore him, ignore her, ignore everyone and play the bigger kid. But then my emotions messed with my head - I felt I'd lose her, if I let him win this battle.

 

In that confused state, in that fatal moment, three seconds that changed my student life forever. I shouted "Aeloprane, you fooru"

 

The words came in a slur, the pronunciation was all wrong. Laughter broke out in the whole room. I had made a fool of myself. I had played into the devil's trap and he had me.

 

Ada, looked at me. There was pity in her eyes. And I saw that look that says "you are pathetic, you don't deserve me"

 

Then the booing started, their laughter turned to booing; shouts of ‘Fooru’ and ‘Aeloprane’, then more booing and more noise.

 

The worst hadn't happened yet. These people were mean to me. No one seemed to be on my side.

 

Then the worst happened.

 

The prof peed his pants. I was standing there when the water bag broke. Afterwards, I cried like a baby; in between my tears, I looked at where she once was and lo she was gone.

 

Somewhere close to the door, my Ada was walking away. And that was not all - Chuka's hands were around her hips.

 

I sat like a drunk man in the pool of my own urine, took off my glasses and wailed like a mad woman. A girl just betrayed me. Ada walked away when I made a fool of me - right into the arms of competition. I lost the will to fight.

 

And guess what? *Sigh* The news traveled fast – everyone knew. For the rest of my school days I was nicknamed "Aeloprane: the dude who pees his pants".

 

Why wouldn't I hate girls?

 

-Bondy

Dutch Carpenter Builds Replica of Noah’s Ark To “Sail” To The Olympics

It is really becoming very true that there is nothing impossible if you set your heart to achieve it. 

Imagine someone who sat down and after a thorough thought process decided to build a replica of Noah's ark. What do you think could have given birth to this idea? I'm sure so many people would have discouraged him (I would have been one of them). What could have been the reaction of his family? 

Well, let's patiently wait. He'll provide answers to these questions and many more insight into the why of this ark if he gets to read this.

Yes, you wanna know him? He is a Dutch Carpenter and has succeeded in building a replica of Noah’s Ark To “Sail” to the Olympics

Johan Huibers completed a replica of the biblical Noah’s Ark. Johan spent three years and $1.6Million to make his dream come true and plans to sail to the London Olympics. Johan’s ark which is made of Swedish pine reinforced with steel is 450ft long and weighs almost 3,000 tons.

Now, please don't think this is weird. If you were Noah and you can see this ark from heaven, would you smile at a job well done or become green with jealousy?

Together Two Achieves More!

It all began with God, when he created Adam, and later Eve. God understood perfectly the importance of having a couple for the task he is to give man. From generation to generation, the impact of joining forces to accomplish the unimaginable has been monumental.

My pastor, Pastor Bola Odutola once said, 'if there is one thing God cherish, it is the unity of purpose'. Remember the wall of Jericho, it was with a common purpose that it was raised down. The trinity that teaches God as the father, the son and the holy spirit is also based on unity.

Today, what we see is a generation not at peace with itself. People are at each other's throat, trying to out do one another just to gain the spot light.

As we see today, the superiority of man is in material things he buys. 'I beta pass my neighbour' is in our homes not necessarily because we need electricity, rather, it is because, we, unlike our neighbours can afford one.

Christians and Muslims are disagreeing over the supremacy of one religion over the other. In offices, mediocres and impressionists reign supreme. People have left their core duties to embrace office politics, arrogating achievements to themselves without giving due credits to those who toiled day and night to make things work. Some will complain about their bosses, forgetting that they are part of the problems.

How about leaders and the gornerned? Pastor Rick Warren once said, 'Followers make leaders. Without followers, we are loners, not leaders'. The followers have also forgotten that they can achieve more with their votes. They forgot the need for a common purpose and the need to secure a better future for the generation unborn.  They got carried away by the gimmicks of the ruling few.

Hmmmn…here is my take, we should all realise that there are innumerable gains in unity. This country was built upon the foundation of unity, three major tribes coming together with one purpose. We can do little by ourselves, we will do much more when we learn to work with others.

According to Jean-Jacques Rousseau, 'Man is born free and everywhere he is in chains, one thinks himself the master of others but he is a greater slave than they'. The greatness we so much desire could be in the association we form. We are not made to be an island.

According to Deut. 32:30, 'How could one chase a thousand, And two put ten thousand to flight, unless their rock had sold them, and the lord had given them up?'. This verse buttresses the fact that two people can do much more than one person given the same amount of grace. He who has read this piece, should think on these things!

                                                                                                                                      'Wale Oyepeju

oludareADISA: THE FAITH OF RAHAB

oludareADISA: THE FAITH OF RAHAB: By faith the harlot Rehab perished not with them that believed not, when she had received the spies with peace. Heb 11:31 And Joshu...

How to Learn A Language in 90 Days

    ‘If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.’ ~Nelson Mandela


I still remember the happiest moment of my life. I had decided to throw a party for my Italian friends while living in Florence, Italy. My friends didn’t speak any English, and I vividly remember throwing the party and trying to only speak in Italian. And then, someone asked me to tell a joke.

I don’t know if you know this, but telling jokes in another language is one of the most harrowing experiences you can imagine.

I began the joke. C’era una volta (Once upon a time) …

Halfway through the joke, I began to get flustered. I couldn’t remember the Italian word in the punchline. And 30 Italians were staring at me, waiting for the joke to end.

Ann Curry Bids Farewell to 'TODAY' on NBC!

Personally, I admire Ann Curry a lot. I was recently watching her interview with the Sound of Music acts and she immediately got endeared to me, and I began following ‘TODAY’ on NBC solely to watch the ease at which she does her job. For me her presence on the show increased my ratings for NBC (please don’t ask me why) but I just enjoyed watching her do her thing.
Hearing of her departure from ‘TODAY’ this morning got me a bit edgy and cranky. I never knew how unconsciously her person has affected me positively, but like I know so well that change is the most constant thing in life and I have to start getting used to not seeing her again  on NBC’s ‘TODAY’. Who will then be my next NBC idol; will it be Savannah Guthrie, one of the co-hosts of the third hour, who has been asked to replace Curry? Well, I really can’t tell now, maybe I have to give it time (do I really have that time?).

Finding Real Contentment?

A circumstance, or a feature or characteristic of something, that gives rise to satisfaction, permit me to call this contentment. The condition or feeling of being displeased or unsatisfied, kindly tag that as dissatisfaction. At what point of your life or achievement will you sit down in gratitude to God and say so far so good? At what point do you have to get agitated with what you think is an unhealthy status quo?

 Let's take a critical look at this popular story:

A wealthy businessman was upset to find a fisherman sitting beside his boat. 'Why aren't you out fishing?' he asked. 'Because I've caught enough for today,' replied the fisherman. 'Why don't you catch more fish than you need?' the businessman asked. 'What would I do with them?' replied the fisherman. The businessman said, 'You could earn more money, buy a bigger boat, catch even bigger fish and make more money. Soon you'd have a whole fleet of boats and be rich like me.' The fisherman said, 'Then what would I do?' The businessman replied, 'You could sit down and enjoy life.' The fisherman said, 'What do you think I'm doing now?' Funny, hun?

Who is right, who is wrong?